Processing Motherhood an Art Therapist's Way: Birth

There are many profound moments during the process of growing into motherhood. I am a relatively new mother, but I anticipate that the growth never ends and what it means to be a mother shifts with the evolution of the child(ren) and the mother. With that said, I believe in establishing a firm foundation of self-awareness, compassion and openness through art. In terms of helping new mothers process motherhood and reduce symptoms of post-partum depression or anxiety, I think art therapy can offer deep healing and validation.

artwork by author

Below are some art therapy directives for mothers who may be struggling with their feelings around the birth of their child(ren). I will present directives to do in regards to miscarriage, having a newborn, weaning, returning to work and toddlerhood in future posts.

Processing Birth

No birth of a child is without some drama and/or trauma. The irony of giving life is that the specter of death is ever present at the scene of birth: human history is full of stories of mothers and babies not making it through the process, a consequence of evolution to a bipedal, larger-brained existence. Walking that line and experiencing a level of vulnerability rarely felt elsewhere - the culmination of pregnancy and effort to make a child, their small, vibrant life and eminent arrival possibly jeopardized by the very actions needed to get them out of the womb - leaves its mark in one way or another. Even a mother with relatively "easy" labor and delivery is likely to have some knots of emotion to work through. The likelihood of a more knotted emotional response is increased if you throw in a difficult delivery, current life stressors (relationship, family, financial, career, health, etc.), past miscarriages or fertility issues, or a history of mental health challenges (depression, anxiety, ptsd, etc.).

I have divided the birthing process into four phases for the sake of fully processing the complex experience. Include other phases per the wishes of the client.


Labor

Labor can be shockingly fast, pretty fast, slow, incredibly slow: it all depends on a myriad of factors that I won't go into here. Some women do not experience this phase at all due to medical urgency: there may be immediate health risks for mother or child that require a c-section soon into labor or before labor starts. Labor is normally the gradual process of readying the woman's body to push the baby through her vagina and out into the world. This is where the uterine contractions are pulsing, gradually increasing in duration, intensity and [more often than not] pain as the cervix opens to the point of allowing the head and body of the baby to come through. Labor also includes the pushing phase, when the cervix is fully open and a woman aids the movement of the baby outward by pushing. Some women experience some or all of labor at home, some experience it entirely in a birth center or hospital setting. 
Women may be supported by their partners during this phase, surrounded by friends, family or medical staff, or they may be alone during most of labor. The level of support a woman had or didn't have during labor may be a resource or a challenge when processing birth. A lot of medical interventions may occur during this phase: various methods of inducement, fetal monitoring, and pain management are the primary ones. Some women didn't want interventions but needed them or had them imposed on them. How empowered a women was or wasn't in the decision-making process around interventions can play a role in unresolved feelings. A women may be grieving the loss of the natural childbirth she was hoping for. In current middle-class mothering culture, there can be a projection of failure or weakness onto women who need medical interventions during childbirth: this can be internalized by those who have had interventions, causing guilt and anger that need to be worked through. 

Directive: Make an image that reflects your labor: it can be a particular moment or a collection of moments and/or factors present for you during that phase. What helped you get through it: include helpful people or resources. If you were unable to experience some or all of labor, depict that loss and/or the time when the decision was made to bypass this phase.

labor example

Delivery

This is the moment of moments, the culmination of fertility, pregnancy and labor: a new human being enters the world. This can be a moment of victory, when a woman feels great power and accomplishment. Being an active player at the threshold of life can be a very spiritual experience for women as well. This is often a moment of great pain and shock for the mother if delivering vaginally. Women often describe vaginal birth as feeling like they are splitting in half. It can also be a moment tinged with disappointment, disorientation, and fogginess for mothers who needed medical interventions during delivery. 
In contemporary American medical culture, interventions are common at the first sign of any risk. This has saved the lives of many women and babies, but it also means a lot of women experience childbirth as different than they expected or wanted. Many women may need to mourn the loss of what they couldn’t have with the delivery of their child(ren), of the loss of agency at that time. This is where art therapy can be very healing: women can inject their inner experience and the life factors relevant to them at that moment into the whitewashed space of a medical birth.
For women who had no interventions, there are still plenty of issues that may need resolving around delivery. The shock of the pain -often accompanied by feeling like one is dying - may need processing. A woman with sexual trauma may find pain in or focus on her vagina triggering. A woman may experience tearing during and a lot of bleeding after delivery, or she may have issues birthing the placenta. The entire experience is so physically and emotionally tolling, with potential perils lurking at every turn, any woman may experience birth as traumatic. 

Directive: Make an image that depicts your experience of delivery. What happened and what was it like for you? Many women feel like this process was out of their control: now you can make it your own through art. This can also be a deeply spiritual experience for some women: if it was for you, consider referencing that in your piece.

delivery example

Meeting the New Baby

This is the moment when parents meets their child(ren) for the first time. The mother is looking into the face of the baby who lived and grew inside her for many months. It can be a moment of instant falling in love, of absolute wonder at this new, precious life and recognition of this vibrant soul. It may also not be a moment of instant love. 
Hollywood and television present this moment as the next “and they lived happily after” following marriage. Like marriage, having a baby is more complex than that. Meeting one’s baby doesn’t necessarily wash away any trauma from pregnancy, labor or delivery: a woman may be so bowled over by the birthing process that she cannot focus fully on her child. Sometimes this meeting is prolonged due to medical issues with mother or child. Sometimes medical issues and/or anxieties during pregnancy, labor, or delivery were such that a mother quelled her love and hope to protect herself from potential loss, making it more challenging to let that love loose at the first sight of her baby. Sometimes threats to a mother's or baby's safety - war, poverty, domestic violence - may consume a woman's thoughts to such a point after delivery that a woman feels more anxiety and regret for her baby's emergence than love and joy. 
Even if the delivery was “easy,” no threats are present, and the baby is placed immediately on the mother’s chest, a mother may not feel instant love for her baby and that’s ok. Love grows, love changes. For mothers who struggled to find love for their child and feel sad for this, they can use the processing of this time to forgive themselves or find acceptance. For mothers who experienced great joy and love at this meeting, this image can be a resource, a resting point in the processing of birth.

Directive: Make an image of the moment when you met your child(ren) for the first time. How did you feel? What did you see/recognize in this baby that you carried for many months? If you didn’t feel love for them right away, bring the love that you feel now into the image in some way. 

meeting example

Postpartum Healing

It is important to heed the experience of the first few weeks after birth. Many women are healing from tears or incisions that occurred during delivery. Many women are also experiencing the raw emotions of baby blues while caring for a newborn, barely sleeping, and adjusting to their new lives and bodies. The postpartum body is different than it is at any other time in a woman’s life: the organs are shifting to pre-pregnancy places and shapes, the belly is tender, large and soft, the breasts are filling with milk, and the uterus bleeds for weeks after birth. In a good scenario, a woman can attend to her body with gentle compassion and appreciation for its immense accomplishment. But a woman may feel horror or frustration at her postpartum body, or she may receive negative messages about her body from her family or partner. Giving a woman the space to process whatever the experience of her body was at this time is important: if there was no compassion at the time, bringing compassion now can be very healing. 
This is also a time when many women reflect on all of the sudden changes in their lives and relationships, struggling to find a new normal for themselves and their family. If they are partnered, they are most likely dealing with major changes to the rhythm of their relationship. These changes and the new roles partners experience can both deepen and challenge a partnership/marriage. If there are other children in the family, the entire family is adjusting to a new member and the sometimes un-graceful reactions of older siblings. All of these factors among others can play a role in a woman’s early postpartum experience, and she may want to include them in her artwork.

Directive: Create an image that reflects your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual experience of the first few weeks after birth.  This is often a raw and tender time for new mothers: find a way to honor what you went through. 

postpartum example

When a woman takes time to process the experience of childbirth, it can help reduce symptoms of anxiety or depression and increase her connection to her child and her fabulously powerful body. It can also bring rich meaning to her life narrative that will stay strong within her throughout the rest of her life. I personally wish there were rituals of remembrance and honoring regularly practiced after childbirth for new mothers. Maybe it's time to make one.